Adventures in Pet Ownership
by Elenast
Summary: The Canine Warriors hadn't always been stoic soldiers. Like all dogs, they were once puppies. Like all puppies, they specialized in causing mischief. (Pre Game)


Adventures In Pet Ownership

By Elenast

Warnings: None.

Disclaimer: All I own are my crazy/weird ideas. The good stuff belongs to Capcom.

Summary: The Canine Warriors hadn't always been stoic soldiers. Like all dogs, they were once puppies. Like all puppies, they specialized in causing mischief. (Pre Game)

AN: I'm sorry if the estimates of puppy-age are inaccurate. I was guessing, heh…Love and huggles to my sister and beta, Shift1085.

_-0o0o0-_

Yatsu, High Priest of the Gale Shrine, was in a good mood. The Crimson Helm showed no signs of stirring within his tomb. The Divine Wind seemed especially refreshing as of late. Kusa Village was happy and prosperous. All was well with the world.

He stepped into his house.

He paused. Something felt slightly strange.

He sniffed the air.

It smelt like….dog?

Wondering why this could be, he headed down the hallway towards his bedroom. The scent was getting stronger. His happy feeling ebbed, replaced by apprehension.

Yatsu opened the door, stepped inside, and promptly tripped over something lying on the floor. The '_something'_ happened to be a puppy, which scampered over and began licking his face enthusiastically. He felt something tugging at his robes. Glancing down, he saw yet another puppy, who had apparently mistaken his clothing for a chew-toy.

'_Why am I surrounded by puppies?' _Yatsu wondered dazedly, attempting to ward the little creatures off.

The licking stopped. He opened his eyes and found himself staring at the feet of his wife, who had graciously removed his assailant.

"Fuse?"

"Yes?"

"Why is our bedroom inundated with puppies?" he asked.

"I bought them," she said, stroking the dog's fur. "I was thinking we could train them as warriors."

"Warriors?" he asked, glancing around the room from his vantage point on the floor.

Eight little puppies waddled around the room, looking laughably far from warrior-material.

"Yes."

"_These_ dogs?"

"Yes."

"But..But…they're _puppies!_"

"And? They may not look like much, but some day they'll be ferocious," she said.

One of the puppies yelped, startled by the sudden billowing of the curtains. Yatsu snorted. Ferocious indeed.

"And where do you intend to keep them?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"In the house, of course."

"But, darling Fuse-"

Sneeze.

"you know that-"

Sneeze.

"I'm allergic to-"

Sneeze.

"dogs," he finished with a pathetic little sniffle-sneeze.

"But they cannot stay outside, in the cold!" Fuse protested, cradling one of the dogs to herself.

Yatsu gestured inarticulately towards the window; the weather was balmy, the breeze pleasant.

"They'll be lonely!" Fuse cried. "Please, let them stay?"

"No," he said. "Absolutely not. There is_ no_ way I'm letting those _things_ sleep in the house."

…

_**Five Weeks**_

…

Yatsu was asleep. He was dreaming pleasant dreams. Said dreams were rudely interrupted when something huge and furry and slobbery took a flying leap onto the bed.

"Fuse?"

"Mmm?" she replied sleepily.

"Your dog is in the bed again."

"His name is Hayabusa."

"Hayabusa is in the bed again."

Fuse did not answer; she had already fallen back asleep. Yatsu gave a weary sigh, resigning himself to a sneezy night.

_Thump._

"Fuse!" he gasped.

"What?" she murmured.

"Help," he wheezed, chest crushed by the dog currently sitting on his chest.

Fuse coaxed Chi into a less awkward sleeping-spot and promptly fell asleep.

Yatsu, to his immense displeasure, was suffering a sudden bout of insomnia. Perhaps it had something to do with the lumps of fur currently occupying the majority of the bed.

Suddenly, Yatsu sat up with a startled yelp. Something - Jin - was licking his hand, which was dangling over the edge of the bed.

Thoroughly fed up, he stumbled out of bed and began gathering his blanket and pillows.

"Where are you going?" Fuse asked sleepily.

"Couch," he grumbled. "It seems to be the only place a man can get some sleep in this house."

…

**Ten Weeks**

…

Yatsu was carving a table. He was doing this because the _old_ table was damaged beyond repair. How had it been damaged, you may ask? It had been gnawed to death by eight teething puppies. (As had the sofa, the dressers, the chairs, and the beds. The Santomi House was now devoid of furniture.)

Yatsu sawed at a chunk of wood with unnecessary force. He slammed the saw down and reached behind him for the hammer. He didn't find it. What he _did_ find was a trail of muddy paw prints, traveling from his tool box to the back door. Yatsu stomped off in pursuit of his hammer, grumbling rather un-priest-like things beneath his breath.

Apparently, hammers are very fun to play tug-of-war with, because the Canine Warriors were doing just that. Yatsu stormed across the lawn, in no mood for this nonsense.

"Give it here," he snapped, grasping the hammer and yanking at it ferociously. Tei chose this inopportune moment to release his grip on the tool, sending Yatsu crashing to the ground.

For a long while, he simply lied there, indulging in a moment of self-pity.

A shadow fell over him. He opened his eyes and squinted upwards, beholding Princess Fuse. Vaguely, he wondered why he always seemed to be lying on the floor when his wife encountered him. She regarded him with raised brows. He searched for something dignified to say.

…

"Your dogs were mean to me."

…

**Six Months**

…

"Sit!" Fuse coaxed. "C'mon, my darlings, sit!"

Chi merely looked perplexed, head tilted to the side and tongue lolling out. Jin groveled at his mistress's feet, hoping for a treat. Hayabusa bounded off to chase some unfortunate squirrel.

Yatsu gave a derisive snort. "Still think they're destined to become warriors, do you?"

Fuse looked at him reproachfully. "They're still young. Give them time to learn."

Yatsu did not look convinced. He leaned back to watch the proceedings.

"Sit! Please? Do it for me?" Fuse pleaded, much to the dogs' confusion. Rei yawned and settled down to sleep.

The training session continued on in much the same fashion, much to Yatsu's amusement. Just as Princess fuse was about to admit defeat, Hayabusa burst out of the woods, the now dead squirrel clutched in his maw.

"See! I _told _you they have warrior instincts," Fuse crowed, lavishing the dog with kisses and praise.

"It's just a squirrel!" Yatsu insisted, feigning disregard. Though he would never admit it, he was impressed with the troublesome little mongrel.

And besides, 'Canine Warriors of the Santomi House' _did_ have a nice ring to it…

…

_**Many Years Later**_

…

Yatsu, High Priest of the Gale Shrine was in a good mood.

He sauntered across his lawn, basking in the Divine Wind. He tripped, foot caught in a hole dug into the walkway. (Hayabusa was the culprit, doubtlessly.) Righting himself, he resumed his walk, whistling cheerily.

He stepped inside his house.

He wrinkled his nose at the pungent scent of dog_._

He stepped over a gnawed up bone, spared a mournful glance for the mangled heap of wood that had once been a table (he had to carve a new one every year or so), and kicked a chew-toy out of his path.

He opened the door to his bedroom, automatically stepping over Chi.

He casually shoved Jin off of his spot on the bed. The dog landed on the floor with a "thud", curled up, and quickly resumed his nap.

This was life as usual.

And, strangely enough, he didn't mind it so much as he used to…

_Fin._

AN: Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are like cuddles from canine-warrior-puppies.


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